Making Lemonade

Although the season calls for cider, I have been thinking a lot about making lemonade. The Chestertown Spy recently cancelled my column. I have been writing for this online community news service for nearly three years. What began as a purely personal creative outlet which I thought I had earned by the merits of my writing, ended when a new editor decided to make my column contingent upon a school advertising sponsorship. Throughout my career in advertising and in education I have worked with many news organizations, and advertising is never a prerequisite for editorial content. That, my friends, is an example of quid pro quo – an advantage granted in return for something.

I am pleased to say, however, that making lemonade caused me to launch my own blog – That’s Another Story. This is truly a dream come true and I hope that you will read my stories. 

As many of you know, this academic year I selected GRATEFUL as a word to keep before the Kent School community. There is no better time to celebrate this word than in November. Thanksgiving is a time to pause and reflect on what you are grateful for. 

The older I get the more I discover that what I am most grateful for are the people in my life. Many research studies have proven that positive connections with other people are essential for happiness and health. In a recent study conducted by Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley at the Booth School of Business at The University of Chicago, entitled Undervaluing Gratitude: Expressers Misunderstand the Consequences of Showing Appreciation, they wrote:

Positive social connections are a powerful source of well-being, and creating those connections can sometimes come at little or no cost. However, they also require that people choose to engage in actions that strengthen social bonds, such as expressing gratitude.

Expressing gratitude is a powerful act of civility benefitting both the giver and the receiver. At this time of year, especially, I plan to write gratitude notes to the people in my life whose presence keeps me grounded. I will see 22 of them on Thanksgiving Day and I cannot wait to tell them in person how much they mean to me!

Thank you to all of you who read my first blog Be Kind. Grateful to have made my lemonade. Now I can make some Thanksgiving foods.

Be Kind

I just finished Demi Moore’s raw and revealing memoir Inside Out. I was a huge Demi fan from the moment I first saw her in St. Elmo’s Fire. Ghost opened in August 1990, a month before I gave birth to Jenna. I got the short Demi Ghost haircut thinking it would be easy when my first baby arrived. (I may have a slight problem copying hairstyles, since in junior high I tried unsuccessfully to have wings during my Farrah Fawcett phase, and in high school I had a Dorothy Hamill short cut, but that is another story.) 

I was two months pregnant with Kelsy in 1991 when Demi did her famous, or infamous, Vanity Fair cover, nude and pregnant. A photo that was intended to be a private gift was selected by the brave magazine as its cover. Controversial as it may have been, I found it incredibly beautiful and liberating. So, I shed the tent dresses of my pregnancy with Jenna and began to appreciate the female body creating life in a wonderful, new way. 

While I never knew her personal struggle with childhood trauma, Demi was an actor I believed was a humble and kind person. After reading her book, I am sure of it. Childhood trauma comes in many forms and as educators we need to remember that each child comes to school with a set of experiences, issues, concerns, and questions that differ from his or her classmates. This is why when my children were growing up I always told them to be kind above all else – because you have no idea what someone may be dealing with in their life. 

Being kind has so many benefits to you and to the person who receives your kindness. If we can internalize kindness and make it a part of who we are, we can live a happier and healthier life. Scientific research shows that being kind releases feel-good hormones, reduces anxiety, improves heart health, and reduces stress. Kindness also builds relationships, and positive relationships new and old bring great joy and purpose to our lives. 

Always be kind. Someone’s health might depend on it – and it might be yours. 

About Nancy Mugele

Nancy Mugele is passionate about the written word. She is an aspiring columnist, writer and poet. Nancy believes that being grateful and kind can help change the world.

Nancy is the Head of Kent School, an independent day school serving girls and boys in PK – Grade 8 on the bank of the Chester River in historic Chestertown, MD. She is the President of the Board of the Association of Independent Maryland and DC Schools, a member of the Board of The 1911 Group (formerly Head Mistresses of the East), a member of the Board of Horizons of Kent and Queen Anne’s, a director of the Mid Shore Community Foundation, and a member of the Education Committee of Sultana Education Foundation.