Lessons from a Seamstress

I have spent a few hours this summer with the seamstress who is making alterations on Kelsy’s wedding dress. Defined as a woman who sews, especially one who earns her living by sewing, our seamstress is simply a magician. A woman who sews does not define her. 

Have you ever noticed how strange our language really is? Why is a tailor defined as a person, usually male, who makes or alters men’s clothing. Does there always have to be a male and a female title? In my profession, back in the day, women leading schools were referred to as the headmistress and men, the headmaster. Thankfully, today that antiquated language is replaced by head of school. Did you notice that “stress” is a part of the female titles? Wonder if that was intentional? That is another story.

I have been thinking alot about my HoS colleagues this week as we all begin a new academic year. Trust me, we could all learn a few lessons from a skilled seamstress/tailor. Here are my takeaways from the summer of the dress.

1. Active listening before action is critical. Once a cut to fabric is made there is no return. The same is true for actions. Therefore, listening, really listening, is a must. Often in schools, we meet with parents who are unhappy with us. Our first reaction, sometimes, is to speak to defend the teacher’s or the school’s action. What if we flipped it and just kept listening, asking parents to help us understand. Really understanding all of their feelings, instead of dismissing them, might be a better way to forge a path forward. The more we learn by listening, the more we can apply in our actions.

2. Creativity is essential for problem solving and magic. On a regular basis, seamstresses deal with problems – the dress is too large, too tight, too long, or needs new straps, a zipper, or buttons. Whatever the problem, creative thinking is required to make it work – and a pin cushion. In schools, we often need to think critically and creatively, not only to solve problems in math and science, but to reach students in the way they learn best. Heads and teachers often need to be flexible and solve individual problems in individual ways – many times in a day. And, just as the dress fits perfectly, so too is the magic of seeing a student when the light shines brightly after a struggle. 

3. Kindness and a positive attitude fixes everything. It is stressful and overwhelming to be the bride. So many decisions to make on a short timeline. It reminds me of being a HoS and entering a new academic year. So many decisions ahead, some that you cannot even imagine in September. The key – kindness, to others and also to yourself. I watched in awe as Kelsy’s seamstress calmed her nerves, listened to her every wish, kept a positive attitude, and recited everything she was going to do back to us in the kindest tone. She knew her audience. This is such a good reminder to me – be positive, kind, and helpful.

I am so grateful that Kelsy has chosen to use lace from my dress, the dress worn first by my mother, and handmade with love by her mother, a seamstress. It has been emotional and joyful to see Kelsy’s vision unfold in the gentle and able hands of Ciara’s Alterations. 

And, as my grandmother used to say: Measure twice, cut once!

Photo: Beatrix Potter, The Tailor Mouse